Did I remember to shave my legs?

I like to hideout in the back of the gym when I work out. It’s the closest I can get to becoming the fly on the wall. I hate it when the only treadmill left is the one right by the desk/front door. At least in the back, if I fall off the treadmill fewer people will see me (you think I joke, but this almost happened my first time there alone. My water bottle and I almost got treadmill flung into the wall of windows behind us).

Clearly I’m not very comfortable in the gym. More like a fart in church. I feel like everyone is staring at me. I probably feel like this because I’m staring at everyone else. I try not to. Try to focus on the closed captioning on the lame TV shows, or watch my calories tick away (evening out the chips I had at lunch). But my workout ADD kicks in and I stare at the sweaty folk around me.

Working out is something that has never been a part of my routine. Ever. I played tennis in high school, but there was never any real “conditioning” involved. Usually just a couple laps around the court then it was game on. When I quit the tennis team is when I started falling out of shape. That was over 10 years ago. I’m now attempting to undo the potato shaped dent in my couch. Emphasis on attempting. I’m a novice. I feel accomplished if I get to the gym a couple days a week. OK, one day a week. And I won’t venture onto anything that’s not a treadmill or elliptical. I finally remembered to throw some deodorant into my gym bag. (And by gym bag I mean reusable grocery bag). Yesterday I forgot to put some on in the morning, and I’m pretty sure everyone around me started craving fair food. Today my iPod died with 10 minutes to go…I made it 5. The soundtrack of grunting weight lifters didn’t inspire me. The point of all of this? I’m not really sure. I guess an attempt to use humor to mask my insecurities in making the underside of this leaf the top. I have huge respect for all of you who make exercise a regular way of life. Here’s hoping I get to join that club one day. Just don’t expect me to leave the back row.