Married Without Children

This past August marked 7 years of marriage sans children. It’s not that I don’t want kids. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’ve always felt a calling to be a stay at home mom, just not yet. I understand that I will never feel completely ready or financially stable for this endeavor, but I do think we are called to a certain level of responsibility when making this choice of when. Think about how much planning goes into other choices…buying a car, buying a house, changing jobs. None of these are to be taken lightly. We research. Read reviews. Pray. Yet all of these can be undone. We can sell the car, the house, find another job, but as far as I know kids are non-returnable. Yet people are made to feel pressured to have them because they’ve been married a couple years, made to feel like something is wrong with them if they choose not to.

 I remember a sermon I heard awhile back. The pastor was talking about the thought some have that using birth control is a way of saying we don’t trust God. His response to that, “I trust that if I don’t use a form of birth control there is a good chance I will get pregnant.” Babies are from God. Wisdom and discernment are from God. And if I can’t pay my bills (which was most definitely the case when we were first married) I call it responsibility to use a form of birth control, not mistrust. But you know what, even if I just plain don’t want kids yet, that should be OK.

For the time being we are trying to soak up the freedoms we have. I like sleeping in. I like showering and eating in peace. And while living with my husband often smells like a diaper pail, I don’t have to wipe anyone else’s butt. I look forward to knowing the love of and for my own children, but until that day I choose not to feel guilty over taking the turtle’s pace towards parenthood. For the time being, my friends’ and families’ kids will have to be a sufficient snack of delicious cheeks. And for my friends and family reading this, don’t worry, it won’t be another 7 years until we have our own.